You are cis-female. You have a college degree. Or two. Or three.
You are intelligent. You are kind.
You know all about the past and its dark, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic ignorance.
Unlike those Neanderthals of the past, you are enlightened and empowered. You and the rest of your generation are anxious to lead us out of that barbaric past and fully into the light of our beautiful future - beyond hate, into loving tolerance and acceptance.
You believe in science. You have more faith in essential oils than traditional religion.
You would prefer to go to brunch, but you will give up a Sunday morning to protest the Supreme Court.
You roll your eyes at virtue-signaling corporations; you genuinely believe in all the right causes.
You are not really afraid of anything - except climate change.
You love your parents, even though they are still stuck in the 20th Century, and simply don't "get it." Your real support system is your group of friends; they accept you just the way you are.
You have experimented with substances and sex. You have calmed down some, but, like the Prime Minister of Finland, you still enjoy partying.
You are, of course, pro-abortion. "It's your body, and your choice."
You respect and admire people with all skin colors - except orange. You like some of the individual white people in your life - you may even be white. But, unless white people are "advocates," they are the root of The Problem.
If you live in Pennsylvania or Arizona, you will vote for the Democratic candidate for US senator. But, if all four candidates were single, and you didn't know they they were running for senate (and for which party), you might go out with either the famous Dr. Oz and/or the good-looking Blake Masters, but you wouldn't go anywhere near either of the two bald, douchey guys, Fetterman and Kelly.
And ... most importantly ...
You are destroying western civilization.*
You believe everyone is entitled to food, clothing (designer), shelter, health care, the latest iphone, etc. but you have no freaking idea where any of that comes from. Because you have grown up in a protective bubble, you don't realize your demands effectively enslave other people.
You believe everything and everyone who came before your generation was ignorant and wrong. That is not true.
You think Democrats are nice and are for the underdog. Republicans, in your mind, are mean and racist; they are just selfishly trying to hang onto their wealth and privilege. That also is not true. And not just because big corporations and the hyper-rich (with the recent, partial exception of Elon Musk) all support the Democrats.
You (naively) believe the destruction of current systems (like our Constitutional republic) will automatically result in something better.
You are (superficially) aware of how hard life was in the past and how hard it still is in parts of the world. But, in spite of your anti-patriotism ("those pro-'Merica, xenophobic rednecks embarrass us!"), deep inside you believe the US is magically immune from despotism, or even serious economic decline. Spoiler alert: unfortunately, as blessed as we have been, we are not immune. And, absent rededication to what got us here, that's exactly what will happen.
I am calling you to that rededication.
It will be a challenge. It will require some adulting. But, it will also be rewarding. Genuinely counter-cultural. Inspiring. Kind of rebellious. Even fun.
You will find conservatives to be a more eclectic and interesting group than you thought. You will also find there are closet conservatives in places you didn't expect. There is no secret handshake, but (once you take the red pill) they will be thrilled to meet you and share, in whispered tones, their journey with you, as you share yours.
Here is the starter list:
1. Find some conservative information sources. Open your mind and give them a fair hearing. For starters (and this is hard to do right now), ignore anything related to Trump - he is an acquired taste and understanding his value is part of the advanced class.
2. Champion anything that enhances election security, especially between now and November 8th. We HAVE to have verifiable elections. Obviously. This is critical no matter what side of the aisle you are on.
3. Vote Republican as soon as you are ready. Hopefully, this fall.
4. Enjoy and embrace your new-found conservatism. It is interesting and exciting and does not require you to drive a pickup or talk with a southern accent. Find people like you who have seen the light and learn from them and with them.**
Please, help us save our country. And your future.
* some of you, with advanced degrees, read that and aren't particularly bothered by it. Some of you, who are bona fide activists, are thinking "damn right, we are. That's the plan." What you don't understand and/or care about is that this new world you are sending us into is not just untested, but to the extent anything similar has been tested, it has failed miserably. Just ask a refugee from Venezuela (now that you've left Martha's Vineyard for the season, you may be able to find one).
** You will find it refreshing. Among other things, you can say what you want without worrying about this week's designated trigger words issued by the latest victim class. And you can have a slice of pizza without fretting about cultural appropriation. And you can go somewhere without having to do an 8th grade research project so you can recite a cringey "Native Land Acknowledgment" when you get there.